Men and women fall in love and then comes marriage. Both think that the wonderful feeling they have for the other one is going to last forever. Then Life happens.
You both are trying to adjust to living with each other, having jobs that interfere with your time together, dealing with bills and credit, having children that also require adjustments to your time with each other, dealing with extended family members, health problems and on and on goes life.
With time things that one spouse or the other does will begin to grate on the other ones nerves. Men tend to naturally not express their emotions and they also can't deal with the hurt feelings that comes from their woman when they do express how they feel about something.
Sometimes they suppress those feelings until they reach a breaking point and then their feelings come out as a rage which leads to an argument.
With many marriages the husband doesn't hate the wife, he just hates something that she does that also affects him. It might be her spending habits that keep them both constantly in debt. It might be that she is never home when he gets home from work. It might be that all her time goes to the kids and he feels left out. It might be that she doesn't know how to get from him what she wants without nagging.
Wives you are in charge. Men want a woman that adores them, one that they can confide in and one that shares his goals in life. When they have that then they want to get home from work to that woman, they want to make her happy and to hold on to her.
When you have this kind of relationship in your marriage (or really any friendship) then you have a relationship that evolves into a long-lasting, loving bond that lasts for a lifetime; no matter the hardships that life brings.
Take a moment and reflect on your marriage up to this point. At some point there was a lot of love between the two of you. How has your life together changed. Don't just focus on the bad of today. How do you want your life to change. You can't get rid of the kids but you can change things related to them if you need too.
If you know what you want but you don't know how to make it happen then here are two books that other women have found helpful in changing their life with their husband to be one like many other couples have that you so envy. Check them out. You are probably not going to learn what you need to know from mom or your friends. If you were, you wouldn't be where you are today.
 
Why is he so mean to me sometimes?
What to do when men pull away in a relationship
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